Confessions of a newly ordained, “working” House Wife Aka Me :)

Back in the day (which doesn’t seem too long back by the way, can’t believe it really has been almost half a decade since I tied the knot), it was almost unthinkable for me to have imagined a life where I wasn’t working for a company. I had never thought beyond my job and having built these walls in my mind, I felt secured sitting right in the middle of the walled city. And look at me now, I am what I never wanted to be, and here’s the shocker, I am more happy than I was ever before. It might be argued that it is because I no longer have to get up and follow the same customary routine of going to the office every day, I can laze around to my heart’s content, but we all know it is only so much of that, that we can take and be happy about. At some point it becomes ridiculous and you start missing having a routine. I did go through that phase as well, when I felt that my life was getting no where. When I would just sit on the corner of the sofa watching the whole day pass by and the most work I would do that day would be to shift from one corner of the sofa to the other. So I know that it’s not by that logic that I am happy as I do have a routine now, now that I am a working house wife J. Ok, I don’t want to jump to that as yet, I want to share with you, how this happened. Read ahead if you sometimes feel trapped in your job and monotonous life, if not, then I must say you are one of those rare “breeds” who love what they do and are lucky that they don’t really need to read ahead, unless you find my writing amusing J (OMG! I so flatter myself! ).

For those who follow my blog entries or those who are cursed with exceptionally good memory (yes, I say “cursed” because it is a curse, not forgetting anything easily, can you imagine a feeling worse than that? But that’s a discussion for another blog entry J. I like to intrigue my readers J ) – I had written about my workload and how I have been able to manage the stress and find my bliss. Well, after all that hard work I had put in, the industry I worked for (oil & gas) went down, and with it eventually my job, I was made redundant, a common phenomenon occurring here in the UK. Anyways, thus began my quest for exploring what I want to do next in my life. I couldn’t get a job in my area of expertise because no one was hiring and I couldn’t find alternate jobs without compromising on status or money. It was a confusing time for me. Slowly the secured fort that I had created for myself was self-destructing its way to create ditches so dark, I never thought I would come out of it. For days I stopped talking to people, I stopped searching for a job. I started reading a lot, I started cooking a lot, started eating a lot …. I thought I would just let my life take its course. All this happening at the time of Christmas and New Year only made it worse. It was a strange feeling, I was terribly missing my family in India but at the same time, I did not feel like talking to them. In fact I didn’t feel like talking to anyone at this point of time. But life had one trick down its sleeve for me, I went for an impromptu holiday with my husband and for few days I forgot what was happening in my life. I immersed myself in the festivities of the great city of Berlin in the arms of the love of my life. When I came back, I came back with 800 years of the inspirational history of the city of Berlin. I had my family in India who became my support system and couple of new friends that I had made who unknowingly inspired me. It was as if the dark treacherous ditches that I had created for myself were slowly getting filled with serene sands. And while I sat one day with an open question to myself of what I want to do in life, I realised the immense potential I had. I felt liberated from my own shackles. I could feel the breeze through my hair whispering in my ears – “Sky is the limit”. I started connecting with some amazing people with amazing energies. The more I got to know about what some people have made of their lives with far more tragic stories than mine, the more ideas flowed in my mind. I now knew that I wanted to do something on my own terms. I now knew that I had the potential and the skills to turn my life around. And slowly, I started building towards that. Every morning I would Skype with my brother (who by the way is in a similar situation like mine, difference being he knows where he wants to reach and how he would get there), I would discuss with him my ideas, churn out the good ideas and implementation strategies and then present it to my husband (I am a bit cheeky that ways hehehehe, I like impressing my hubby). And each day I would learn more, more of what I can do and more of what I wanted to do. Which brings me here today -  a month ago, I didn’t know where my life was heading and although it’s the same today but it is now in a much positive and purposeful way J. I don’t know where my life would take me but I know that I am putting my best foot forward each day. I know I will end up doing something good, how do I know that? Because I am working hard and I am happy, and even though I am trying very different things, I know I will end up finding the one which is for me. And even if I don’t, I still would cherish the journey J. I can proudly say today that I am a working house wife and a good one at that! As I make my way towards that “rare breed” of people who love what they do and are lucky enough not to have to read inspirational blogs or stories like this one anymore ;) , I thank God each day for giving me the opportunity to come out of my walled city!